Pyre
by denise1
Summary: At Sho'nac's funeral, the last thing Teal'c needs is to be alone


Pyre

By

Denise

A large log shifted, sending a shower of sparks into the night air. Despite herself, Sam jumped, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She cast a curious glance at her companions, not surprised to see remorseful boredom on their faces, the fourth member of their team standing in front of them, the flames outlining his tense figure.

The colonel shrugged and Daniel made a face, silently communicating their question. How much longer were they supposed to stand here? Even on Earth and in a state of the art crematorium, reducing the body to ashes could take hours and Sam had a feeling that this wooden funeral pyre, even augmented with accelerant, could burn for days.

They'd all been more than willing to accompany Teal'c out into the woods to perform the funeral rites, General Hammond having called in more than a few favors to not only get them access to this secluded area but to also get them permission to start the fire necessary to complete the rites.

However, she knew that, no matter how supportive they were, the guys were also getting bored. So was she for that matter, although she'd never tell Teal'c that. The colonel quirked his eyebrow, starting to take a step forward when Teal'c moved, abruptly walking away from the fire and disappearing into the trees surrounding the clearing. "It was not something I said," he quipped softly.

"Is that it?" Daniel asked.

"You don't know?"

"Sorry, Jack. I didn't have a chance to bone up on Jaffa funeral rites," he retorted.

The colonel scratched his head and sighed. "You think we should go after him?"

"Jack?"

"He probably shouldn't be alone," O'Neill said.

"I'll go," Sam volunteered.

"Carter?"

"The worst he can do is tell me to go away," she said, shrugging a bit. She knew her relationship with the alien warrior was unique, different from his friendship between Daniel or the colonel. It wasn't a difference she exploited often, but something told her that this was one of those times.

O'Neill nodded. "We'll be here if you need us," he said, claiming a seat on a large boulder. Sam walked past him, slowly making her way into the trees, depending on the light of the full moon to illuminate her way once she got out of the reach of the firelight.

She paused for a moment, not only to let her eyes adjust, but to also stretch her other senses. Feeling the slight tug of naquadah, she veered to her right, her sense of direction telling her that she was walking towards a small stream that trickled its way down the mountain.

She saw him standing on the banks to the stream, his back to her. She stood there for several minutes, torn between respecting his privacy and stepping forward. He had to know that she was there, he could sense her as much as she could sense him. But she also knew he was a private person. She didn't know if it was his natural reticence or if it was a product of his training, but Teal'c had always been the most secretive of her teammates. And she was loathe to violate his privacy if he really wanted to be alone.

A flash of movement caught her eyes and she watched him fall to his knees, his shoulders quaking. Not caring about his privacy anymore, she moved forward, kneeling beside him. Reaching out, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him close.

She felt hot tears soaking into her shirt as he cried silently. Knowing that words were meaningless, she said nothing, closing her eyes and rocking him slightly. Her heart ached at his grief. She felt tears of her own well up, spilling down her own cheeks to mesh with his. He said nothing, his only acknowledgement of her presence his hand tightening on her arm, clinging to her with a bruising grip.

She didn't know how much time passed when he pulled away, turning his back to her, his chest heaving as he fought for control. He got to his feet, moving to kneel beside the stream, the splash of water breaking the silence of the night.

Sensing his need for solitude, she got to her feet, wiping her face off on her sleeve. She quietly turned, retracing her steps back to the clearing. She stumbled slightly, her hand digging in her pocket. Finding the crumpled remnant of a tissue, she blew her nose, hoping to at least appear normal to the rest of her team.

Reaching the edge of the clearing, she took a deep breath then stepped forward. "Colonel?"

"Carter? Everything ok?" he asked, getting to his feet.

"Yeah, fine, sir," she answered, doing her best to stay out of the firelight. For some reason, she felt the need to hide what had happened, keeping the last few moments a secret between her and Teal'c. She was humbled by the trust he'd shown in her and in that instant, she resolved to never tell anyone what had just transpired.

"Where's Teal'c?" Daniel asked.

"He just aah…needed a minute," she said. "If you guys want to go back, we can just walk," she said.

"You sure?" O'Neill asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "The funeral's over. Teal'c just…wants to stay a while. I can stay with him," she said, not really knowing if she'd be welcome or not. The only thing she was halfway sure of was that Teal'c wouldn't feel comfortable with the colonel and Daniel right now, facing the well intentioned concern on their faces or dealing with questions that he wasn't ready to answer. She felt the almost overwhelming need to protect her friend, to shield his vulnerabilities from the world.

"Ok," O'Neill agreed. "Tell ya what, we'll go back, then get an airman to bring another car out, leave it at the head of the trail. That way you two won't have to hoof it back," he offered.

"That'd be nice, sir, thank you," Sam said. The two men turned, making their way to where they'd left the jeep and leaving Sam to her lonely vigil. She sat down, leaning her back against a fallen log, pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

The damp patch on her shoulder that had felt so hot earlier now felt cold and she hunched her shoulders. She honestly didn't know what his reaction would be when he returned to the fire or if he would return. Part of her wanted to leave, to avoid any confrontation or further rejection. But she also didn't want to desert her friend, especially at this rare time when he seemed to need someone.

She tried to understand how he was feeling, the sense of loss or grief, but she really couldn't. The last time she'd lost someone had been almost twenty years ago, and the feelings of a teenage girl for her mother likely bore little resemblance to those of a man towards a former lover.

She heard a noise behind her but didn't turn around, the small shiver creeping down her spine confirming the identity of the person. She stayed silent not sure if he'd want to talk or if he'd walk right past her and return to the base, embarrassed by his emotions.

Much to her surprise, he didn't leave, instead sitting on the ground beside her. After a few minutes when he didn't speak, she relaxed a bit, loosening her grip on her legs and zipping up her jacket as a defense against the cooling night air. The fire was dying down, the flames lessening and giving away to the super hot glowing embers that would do the actual work of consuming the body. A heavy weight settled against her back and she turned her head, realizing that he was offering her his warmth to lean against. She accepted his invitation, scooting over to sit at his side.

"O'Neill?" he asked softly.

"They went back to the base," she answered. She felt him nod, sighing heavily. "I'm sorry," she said after several minutes, feeling the need to say something. "I wish I'd have known her."

"As do I."

"Tell me about her," she requested, sensing his need to share and remember.

"She was my first love," he replied simply. "And her death shall be avenged," he vowed, his voice low and deadly.

Fighting a shiver that had little to do with the cool air, Sam said nothing, mesmerized by the flickering flames and glowing embers. Sparks and smoke wafted towards the heavens. There was something beautiful in cremation, the freeing of the spirit and the cleansing of the soul. Death wasn't the end, but the beginning, a renewal of life, a returning to the earth.

She felt the comforting bulk of his body beneath hers, smelled the faint aroma of the creek water upon his skin. She could feel his resolve in the stiff set of his shoulders, hear it in the tenseness in his voice. Nothing could sway him from his quest for vengeance, that she knew, so she wouldn't even try. All she could do was hope that she would not consign yet another victim of the goa'uld to the all consuming flames.

Fin


End file.
